Apparantly I like the “Of…” theme of my titles. Let’s see how long I can keep that up.

Drawings and writings, that’s mainly what this post is about. The reason Mana-sama is the image right now, is because I currently do not have a drawing I want to show you. Why? Drawing was for me, something…it used to be something I did for ages at a time. But recently, well, for the better part of this and last year, I haven’t been drawing much. My motivation to draw was gone. I encountered so many wonderfull artists, who unconsiously are making me feel bad about my drawings, “telling” me to quit with how their drawings seem to be perfect. They don’t say it outright of course, and they probably don’t even mean it, but it feels like that.  But, ha, I wouldn’t be making a post like this if I wasn’t thinking about picking up my pencils anymore. And I am thinking about that.

I’ll be making three drawings this week. This may be too much right now, but at least I can say I tried.

Writings, ah yes, then we’re here. I’ve been writing forever, I don’t even remember when I first started to write. From what I think, it must be a long time ago when I was still an infant. Actually, I seem to have the same problem here, the same I have with drawing. But this time it’s not other writers, it’s just that I have a complete and total lack of motivation. Why? I have no idea. It’s not that I don’t have ideas, I have plenty of those. Sometimes they’re even so good, it hurts me that I don’t write them down. Even my stories of Sa”Ell and Alaeno aren’t being written. I have this entire summer to concentrate on that. I think I’ll start with that again as well. Finally writing some more of it.

And for now, I’ll give you the status of my current art-projects:

~Near: 0%, planning

~Light: 0%, planning

~Light, Near, Mello: 0%, planning

~Midori.

My feelings tell me I have been neglecting my BJD, Alexander. I have had him since start december of last year, but for a few…times, he has been sittings quietly in my room for days at a time. I look at him before I go to sleep and my heart constricts for I realise I haven’t paid attention to him. Am I wrong about him? Am I not cut out for this Doll-world? I’m close to crying now, thinking of perhaps I might sell him. Is that a sign that I dó belong in this world? I don’t want to sell him, selling him feels like killing some part of my soul. I think it’s just that I’m not so fond of the Fora that are here for the dolls, maybe I should just become a little more active on both DoA and DDD. Perhaps that might be it. Maybe it’s allso that I’m so full of dreams, that I just stop actually being with the doll I already háve, instead of dreaming about the dolls I wánt.

*sigh* Let’s just leave this as a rant shall we? I will never sell this dollie, he ís part of my soul, how weird that might sound to non-doll owners. I can’t wait till I saved enough for Cyrus’ body.

~Midori.

I never really thought I’d find a dress I wanted so much, at Baby the Stars Shine Bright.  It’s very much my own fault, I never looked further than the actual written clothing. As in, I never looked at the items for Alice and the Pirates (which has some amazingly wonderfull items, which I’ll show you in the near future) nor did I look at the collaboration between Baby and Novala Takemoto. The dress you see above, is the one dress I desperately want right now. It just feels amazing. I love the lace, the ruffles, the bows. I need it. It’s currently second on my wishlist. According to the measurments, I’m supposed to fit in this. I am very tall and it’s difficult for me to find nice dresses that aren’t too short.  If I calculate it, the dress is around 200 euro. It will be bought. I think I’m going to save up 300 euro, for shipping and handling. Customs is not nice in this country.

If I go back to my post from yesterday, I regret to say that my dream of owning the black/white iron gate print dress is probably gone. It is no longer on any of the listings, not on the official site nor the international CDJapan one. I’m sad, because I really wanted this dress. There is one, only one, still in a shop here in the Netherlands. It costs a small fortune, and there are probably more people here that want it. If I don’t get a job fast, my dream is gone. Moitié dresses don’t sell much on the secondhandmarket, and they’ll probably cost 2, maybe 3 times the original value. I hope the chandelierdresses stay for a long time, I really want one of those as well.

~Midori.

A lot of people at home think I am crazy, obsessed even, with Mana-sama and that the only reason I save up for Moitié clothing, is because of Mana-sama. Yes, I am obsessed with Mana, you will probably read all about that on my blog and pages. Why? He is just a major inspiration for my life, my way of acting in real life, and he is an amazing musician. Those people on fora and blogs who constantly say that he is a bad musician, I am wondering if they ever listened to his music. Not just opening their ears and listen to what comes out of the boxes, but actually lístened. No, they didn’t. If they did, they would have figured out what the music meant.

 But that’s not what this post is about. This is about Moitié, and my reasons for buying it. I don’t yet have everything of this amazing Lolita brand, but I ám saving up for a dress, the white/black iron gate print dress to be exact. I wanted the blue/black one, hence the title of this post, but that one has been outofstock for so long, it’s impossible to get nowadays. Why am I in love with Moitié? The designs of these dresses and blouses are just too wonderfull to pass up. I know, Moitié is expensive. It will be a long time before I am able to actually buy this dress, seeing how my other hobby of BJD tends to want a lot of my money as well.

It’s just difficult you know? Writing about why you have fallen in love with a certain brand of clothing. People tend to scream at me, say that I’m stupid for wanting these brand items. And what do they buy? Brand items. Blouses that are what, 20 dollar’s cheaper than Lolita blouses? And they scream at me for wanting a BTSSB blouse that costs almost exactly the same? My friends at school don’t get it, not at all. They don’t get my love for BTSSB, H.Naoto, and they surely do not get Moitié. I never speak about Moitié anymore, they’ll just look funny and change the subject, thinking “there she goes again, about some brand of clothing that she only wears because her favorite musician designed it”. That is so not true. It’s not.

I think that I’ll start with some Fanplusfriend items, general blouses and petticoats and all. Just to get the feel of it. I have 2 skirts now, off-brand, that can pass off as Lolita as long as they’re worn with a nice blouse. I have 2 blouses that can also pass off as Lolita, but I need to put some lace on them. I’m not good at sewing yet, and am slowly improving. I need lessons, but don’t feel like paying hundreds of dollars for just a tiny bit of knowledge. I’ll start cheap, and find work, so that I might finally be able to buy that one dress I always wanted.

Black/White Iron Gate Print Dress here I come… that is… somewhere in the future.

 ~Midori.